dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
