I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The beer is more important than you right now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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