forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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