Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Semen is not good for contacts.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
