im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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