We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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