i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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