I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
