Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
