but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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