with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
