so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
