so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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