We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
