there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
