and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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