i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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