i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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