I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
