thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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