what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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