I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
