She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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