I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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