were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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