There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
