Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
