Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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