He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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