let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
