dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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