and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
