I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
