i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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