let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
