omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
