She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
