69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
