I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
