Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
