remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
