My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
