called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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