Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They took my balls.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
