Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
