My room smells like vodka and shame
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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