Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
