Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
