I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
