awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
you never un-have a 4some
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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