im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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