I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
