that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
