Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
